"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive." Anaïs Nin

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Thursday, June 30, 2011

When did that happen?

I had an appointment with my new doctor about my application for a Hearing Service Dog. Fabulous Husband was able to join me for the appointment, and the clinic actually provided an ASL interpreter for me. She was wonderful and so helpful and informative. I should have asked about these kinds of services a long time ago, but I didn't think my hearing was that bad or that help like this was even available. I was in for some interesting news.

The doctor asked at one point about how well I was functioning with my hearing aids. I was about to answer when Fabulous Husband spoke up and said he had a clearer perception of how they were, or rather, weren't helping me as much as I thought. I did not know that he had noticed I have been losing a lot of sounds lately. I thought I was doing better than I actually am.

It was like all those years ago when I went in to get my first pair of hearing aids when I had a moderate loss. When I put those first ones on and stepped outside, I heard birds for the first time in many, many years. BIRDS! When did I stop hearing them? The sounds just slowly fade away at an unnoticeable rate. The gentleman I was married to at the time noticed, however. He was the one who sent me to the doctor. I told him he just needed to speak up and stop mumbling all the time. That was about 30 years ago.

Fabulous Husband said that even with my hearing aids, I'm not hearing as well as I used to. I did notice that once in awhile things were more difficult to hear, due to allergies, I thought. I had no idea it's gotten to the degree it has. When the doctor mentioned I was his first "deaf patient" and referred to me as "deaf" a couple of times, I said I've been using the term "hearing impaired". He went on to explain that hearing impaired is clinical, but the degree of my loss and ability to function with this loss actually categorizes me as "latent deaf". He said "deaf" is accurate and to use this term. I was the last one to know.

I have a friend that I am able to discuss a lot of issues I have with hearing, or the lack there of, and she has a great sense of humor. We are able to laugh about the funny side of "not hearing well." She and I were having lunch one day when I described to her how I was nearly run over by people on bicycles in Harrisburg. First, they have no business on the sidewalks. Secondly, I don't hear them coming up behind me, yet when they pass by nearly missing me, I see them say, "What are you, deaf?" Apparently so.

I text to her the day that the doctor said I was deaf and she text back, "No *&^$%*! I hadn't noticed!"  I can see her smiling and writing that text even now.

I'm left at the end of the day with one nagging thought that is dogging me. When did I become deaf and how is it everyone noticed but me?


  1. I appreciate your feeling. That's something I've wondered too about my own hearing loss - "When did I stop hearing that?" It's so hard to explain how it makes me question my own judgment. Oh well, guess it's just another one of those things. Nice to know I'm not the only one.

  2. I'm so glad you stopped by my blog. I found yours the first day I visited DeafRead and I was so pleased to read that there is someone who is sharing her journey as well, and it was a similar journey to my own. I'm still learning things as I go along, but it's nice to be learning from others along the way in turn. I know what you mean about questioning your own judgment, and for me, it makes me self conscious and then I lose confidence. I'm working on getting some of my confidence back, and without apologizing for it. :-)