"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive." Anaïs Nin

Need to change text size? Click one of these:
Small Medium Large Larger Largest

Want to read this post later? Send it to your Kindle reader:

Send to Kindle

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Part 3: Mastery of Change by Sean Morgan

Hello, this is guest blogger Sean Morgan. Previously, I was able to
share the second installment of a book I wrote called "The Mastery Of
Change, Choosing Mental and Emotional Wellness". We are getting into
the realm of emotions and beliefs. If we are programmed by our genes
and culture to believe things that cause us suffering, we have to
deprogram ourselves of this "outdated software". I was extremely
influenced by the work of author Byron Katie. She helped me realize
that we have the choice in what we believe and in turn, how we feel.
This is very liberating. Next week I will discuss how Byron Katie's
system of inquiry works on a practical and biological level. First we
need to learn how to put out the fires of emotion before they cause so
much chaos that we do not have the opportunity to deconstruct beliefs
at all.
Releasing An Emotion
Emotions can be very strong and seductive. You can feel out of
control when you experience a potent emotion. An emotion can grip you
at light speed and you may have little awareness of the successive
steps that led to your thoughtless words and actions. With repeated
emotional experiences in relationships, workplace dynamics, and your
daily life, you will have more awareness, and the experience will seem
to slow down. You will have more free will to be conscious of your
actions. That is when a pattern can be broken. I used to get very
angry and yell at my girlfriend when we disagreed. I always felt very
justified in expressing myself this way. I felt that I had a valid
emotion to express. Recently, after lot of reflection on taking
responsibility for my emotions, the energy of anger appeared in a
disagreement with her. This time, I used breathing techniques instead
of yelling at her. Also, my ability to use positive words in that
moment helped douse the flames of our argument. A pattern that had
been in place for years had been broken by taking responsibility for
my emotions and responses.

Follow these steps during a negative emotional experience:

Identify that the emotion does not feel good.

Take responsibility to do something about it.

Breathe into the area of your body where there is contraction.

Ask yourself if you are willing to let go of the emotion. (See Sedona

Emotions are very temporary. According to neuroanatomist Jill
Bolte-Taylor, author of My Stroke Of Insight, the chemicals of an
emotion are flushed from our system after 90 seconds (2008). However,
we experience a cascade of additional negative emotions if we choose
to continue to feed the stories in our minds that are causing them.
Starve the negative emotion of fuel and it will die. If the inner
dialogue continues, choose to watch it instead of identifying with it.
Notice the petty tone of the internal voice and recognize that it is
ego and not love. Continue to breathe into the area and ask the
question "Am I Willing To Let This Go?" until the emotion subsides.

Laughing, crying, sighing, yelling (preferably not at someone),
moaning, and singing also physically expel emotions like a reflex.
There are formal practices using these techniques in the companion
workbook. Releasing emotions starts with subtle work. Throughout the
day, many kinds of experiences could cause you to hold your breath
slightly and constrict. Just notice, relax into it and breathe. For
the heavy duty emotions, the physical reflexes can be used
intuitively. Remember not to feed the stories in your mind, as you
don't want to train yourself to be a releaser and not a solver.


What stories do you tell yourself in your head that refuel negative emotions?

(ex: I know better than he does what I should be doing with my life,
how dare he tell me how to live my life.)


What could you tell yourself to end the internal dialogue during an
emotional cycle?

(ex: I am responsible for my own emotions. Blaming others won't help me.)


Deconstructing Beliefs And Creating New Ones

If you have a disempowering belief, it will keep causing negative emotions for the rest of your life until it is cleared. You could consider it a disease or a virus. It is like a weed in the garden of your mind.

Example: If you notice that you experience a negative emotion when you
see a luxury car, try to find the root belief that causes the emotion.
At first you might think you have a belief that:

"Rich people are evil"...but that could be a secondary belief.

The primary belief behind it could be... "There aren't enough
resources in the world for everyone to be taken care of."

Or the belief that... "The world/society or human nature is not the
way it should be."

You can root out the secondary beliefs to destroy the medium-sized
roadways. If you change the big beliefs, you will destroy the highway
of negativity and leave a yellow brick road in its wake. Your new
belief might be that every person deserves to have their dreams
fulfilled. This new path could make you feel wonderful when you see a
luxury car. Your new belief will allow you to feel joy for others'
achievements. The same situation that caused a negative emotion in
one instance can cause a positive one once the belief is rooted out.
Therefore, the circumstance is not the problem... the problem is
actually your interpretation of it. Beliefs are not permanently gone
when you deconstruct them. Your new belief must be practiced, and
that pathway must become a highway bigger than the old one.

-- Love Is The Answer To All Great Questions

No comments:

Post a Comment